This is it! Three more 5 more hours and i am HOME! I am in HongKong right now waiting for my flight to the Philippines.



I am more excited to see my dog, Kikay, than my friends. Sorry. hehehe But I am excited to see my grandparents the most! I miss them so! can't wait!

Later tonight I'm flying home.

I am not excited, nevertheless happy. I feel nothing but worry. I dont know what to expect when I set foot in the Philippines after more than a year.

I sure do miss the Philippines and my family and friends...its been over a year and a lot has changed. I changed, and they changed for sure.

I dont know, all i know is I miss home.

Fourteen days!!!! FOURTEEN!! And I am home!

I have to maximize 30 days of vacation in my country and I can't even start to think what I'll do first! Aside from not having prepared myself for this vacation both financially and physically (physically meaning, I havent toned myself up for the beach bumming), I do not know what to do! relaxing would be the first thing to do though but what is next?

I am not financially prepared. Well, I was but then the money I have saved was used to more important things and I'll keep my mouth shut about it for its as personal reason as it should be. The thing is half of the huuuugee amount of money I have spent for this particular secret reason is borrowed from the bank and i'll be in deep shit if I dont manage to pay them back the soonest possible time.

I got paid today and started paying off my bills. I was expecting to use my salary for my vacation but it happens all of it will just be used to cover up this money i owe the bank...I will go home penniless. i only have a few left in my philippine bank account and i do not know if i can manage to survive in thirty days with it.

But not to worry, at least its home. i do not need to spend on anything. if I have nothing to eat anymore, then i'll just pick up some edible greenery in our garden and feast on it. That's what is good of being home. There is nothing to worry about. All the comfort you need you can find. Little to big problems, you can find a solution.

However, what am i here for? Isnt it for the money? And it is a shame I am going home with nothing! And i am going back with bills to pay in my POBox! i gotta figure out a way to handle what i earn and pay all this debts i incurred. i am not being sorry though for getting indebted. I helped. and it felt good to help. All i have to do is to figure out a way to manage what i have.

For my vacation, i'll make a way to enjoy it with nothing but a few ka-chings! the BEACH will have to be the first place I have to go! I miss the Philippine seas! I miss the tropical heat and I can't wait to bask in the sun! Its a whole lot different sun than the sun here in Dubai, although its the same sun.

25 days from now, I am going home! And the first thing i am going to do, aside from meeting friends, is go to the beach!!!

But i am sad. i will explain later.

i havent even figured out who i was, or am...now. the question is still existing. And i told myself i wont blog until I figure out even just a bit of answers to my own "delusional" question. Allow me to say such.

However, i am excited to go home. Super duper uber excited! So here I am sharing my good news.

After 1 year 3 months and 5 days that I am here in this no-adjective-relevant-to-describe country, I am finally going home! Although after 30 days I'll be back to slavery and will face a rather tough time. And that I will also share later. Right now, i just want to let you all know, those who visit this forsaken blog, and especially to those who care about me, (i wonder who they are) THAT, I, EMmAnAtiOn, is sooooooo excited to set foot on my beloved Philippines, and my oh so dearly loved Nabua.

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I was told there were a lot of changes in my town after more than a year i was away. So i will explore all that. :-)

Who are you??

I just miss home terribly so! Less than three months seem like a drag, something like a big chain attached to one of your leg and you walk by ever so slowly because its heavy. Thats what and how I feel. I just want the days to go by fast because I cant wait to walk around my town, meet with familiar faces, and lounge in my room and adore every corner of the house I truly call home.

I miss everything of the past I left behind, that is why I am coming back home...where my heart truly belong.


and i really do miss these people. all the good and bad.


i also can't wait to see and be "dada" one more time to our newest angel


...and I miss my Kikay! so so so much! i know she awaits for my return!

I’m just a boy standing infront of another boy waiting for him to love me back.


and this is the face of the boy standing in front of the boy i am waiting to love me back... intoxicated with smoking despair.